Sunday, March 3, 2013

When in Moscow...

...do as the Muscovites do.

1. Never smile
2. Always wear a fur coat or hat, especially if it resembles Cruella deVille
3. Have no concept of personal space
4. Be prepared to body-check someone at all times; this goes for everyone, including small old ladies at the coat check, they will do the same to you and with more force
5. Do not know how to drive a car - it's even better if you're on a phone and iPad, while trying to run over pedestrians in a cross walk
6. Do not know how to walk straight ahead or at a consistent pace, preferably move on an unpredictable diagonal
7. Show extreme PDA on the escalators in the Metro
8. Never try to be eco-savvy and not bag your produce - you will be stopped at the register and sent back to have your produce weighed and priced in that department - and you should know that, whether or not there is anyone at the scale
9. Don't try to wash AND dry your hands in a public restroom if there is a line; you'll be lucky enough to be allowed to the sink
10. When in doubt, wear stilettos

2 comments:

  1. Love it! But does not sound all that diff from the States! Maybe the fur coat and hats....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have never seen such an abundance of fur coats and hats. i've never wanted one in the States, but somehow it looks so glamorous here. Also, the personal space/sense of space thing is 10x worse than in the States, its insane!

      Delete