Absurdist Xenophobia: Russian Style

For a country with such a rich history, it is often distressing to be reminded of the paradoxes that exist in contemporary Russia. While I can only speak about Moscow, with its thriving theater, ballet and opera scene, a few recent news articles have been very upsetting. Not to mention the adventure I had to Metropolis - the gargantuan mall complete with bowling alley - in order to purchase a bag. While a successful shopping trip, I encountered this complicated Russian identity. 

The saleswoman who helped me (she, the English speaker, was called into action when my eyes glazed over at the rapid-fire speech pace of the other woman, who did not slow down, despite my request of медленне, пожалуйцта) explained how she lived in the UK and wanted to move back to a country where English is the primary language, as she "felt freer" speaking in English, and liked that Americans are loud. 

Having this pleasant exchange turned ugly when she said that she wanted to move here but there were too many Africans. I gave a dumbfounded look since I could not believe this had escaped her mouth; she took my momentary silence for misunderstanding and repeated, "you know,черный (the Russian adjective for black)." This only went downhill when she said how her Russian friend in Canada said there were so many "men with men and I don't understand it, man and woman is natural." She asked me if I liked the US, and I said yes, and because I can do and think and be who I am there, and despite our issues, of which there are many, it is OK to be of different ethnic, religious, gender and sexual identity backgrounds.

To Continue on a Larger Scale:

There has been a resurgence of Cossacks, those Russian of legend, in the Southwestern part of the country, as well as stopping smaller arts events in Moscow. I thought the Moscow stunt was a gimmick, but this is all too real. It screams of fascism and religious/ethnic persecution. And while I may be an historian, living this is absurd:

The Cossacks Are Back. May the Hills Tremble.

Sergey Ponomarev for The New York Times

Russia’s Cossack Revival: As the Russian government aims to promote a more conservative tone, Cossacks are playing a growing role, but threatening a gentle ethnic balance.

By ELLEN BARRY

Published: March 16, 2013

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/world/europe/cossacks-are-back-in-russia-may-the-hills-tremble.html?pagewanted=1

And in even more absurd news, author/comedian/actor/gay rights' activist Stephen Fry recently met with Vitaly Milonov, the (going to exclude the expletives and not-so-nice terms I would like to insert here) deputy in the St. Petersburg legislature who authored the law against homosexual propaganda. 

Russia's Fertile Grounds for Homophobia

18 March 2013 | Issue 5089

ByVictor Davidoff

For Vitaly Milonov, a deputy in the St. Petersburg legislature and author of the law against homosexual propaganda, his meeting with author and gay activist Stephen Fry on Thursday was, in his words, "fascinating, like contact with an alien civilization." Milonov is probably the only regional politician in Russia with nationwide name recognition. Now, his nonstop war against Russian homosexuals has given him worldwide notoriety.

The Moscow Times

http://www.themoscowtimes.com/opinion/article/russias-fertile-grounds-for-homophobia/477003.html

It is times like these that I am reminded that Russia never had a Renaissance. Truly, they were only painting Christian iconography up until 1736!

Maslenitsa - Eat all the блинчики and масла you can!

Something I never knew about, being the good Jewish girl that I am, was Maslenitsa, or Butter Week. Apparently this is the week before Lent, when you are supposed, at least in Eastern Orthodox tradition, to eat as many блинчики (blintz or pancake) as times a dog wags its tail. For anyone who knows my puppy Maggie, and how often she wags hers, this would indeed be impossible.

For Maslenitza (масла meaning butter) small stands are set up in various areas around the city.  Kamergersky Pereulok, the street where the Moscow Art Theater School (MXAT) is, is renamed "Gluttony Row" for this week of indulgence.

Set up with the blintz-shacks are a row of rather creepy scarecrow-like statues. The festival ends on Sunday with the burning of these effigies, who represent winter, in order to welcome the spring. Unfortunately, as per Russian spring, we are supposed to have snow from Thursday through Sunday. At least there is the promise of straw witch burning, a CHEESE FESTIVAL and St. Patrick's Day on Sunday to look forward to! As well as our, supposed, first entire day off!

Also, my dear friend Leslie made the cover of the Internet edition of the Moscow Times, since we were the only ones brave (or stupid) enough to sit outside and eat our блинчики, hence the photographer's excitement. At first we thought he wanted to take a photo of the design behind her, then he switched to English (our Russian is not nearly up to par for "out of the ordinary" encounters). Leslie smiled with her plate of food, to which he replied, "No. Taste it!" which led to the picture below. A fragment of my obnoxiously orange coat can be seen in the bottom left corner across from her. Immortalized forever: American grad students love to eat tasty (and cheap) food.

Heavy Snowfall Forecast for Moscow This Week

12 March 2013 | Issue 5086

The Moscow Times

Vladimir Filonov / MT

Leslie, 23, of Boston, Massachusetts, eating a pancake Tuesday at a Maslenitsa fest on Kamergersky Pereulok.

Image 1 of 2

Russian tradition might dictate that this week marks the start of spring, but weather forecasters are warning Moscow residents to brace for heavy snowfall.
The frosty, dry weather that the capital has been enjoying for the past week will change Wednesday as clouds roll in and snow falls on parts of the Moscow region, the federal weather bureau said.
"We forecast snowfall of up to two centimeters," a weather bureau official told Interfax, adding that in Moscow, residents should be on the lookout for black ice.
Snow will start to fall heavily Thursday and continue coming down through Saturday, dumping up to 18 centimeters in the city over three days, the weather bureau said.
Russians celebrate Maslenitsa this week, a holiday with pagan roots that marks the beginning of spring and traditionally includes the copious consumption of blini, whose round, warm shape symbolizes the sun.
But weather forecasters said Tuesday that warmth from the sun would be in short supply for the next few days. Temperatures are expected to hover between minus 17 and minus 22 degrees Celsius before Wednesday night, then warm up to plus 1 degree Friday afternoon and zero degrees Saturday.
The cold has led to 27 deaths in Moscow this winter; 265 people have been hospitalized for hypothermia, Interfax reported.

Read more:http://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/article/heavy-snowfall-forecast-for-moscow-this-week/476771.html#ixzz2NOH5VNVp
The Moscow Times

Sit, Stand, Push Unassuming American Students Out of the Way

For a country that certainly has its fair share of issues, support for the arts is not one of them. Every single night of the week, the theaters are full - be it for theater, ballet, opera, you name it. If only we had this issue in the States! And the size and prestige of the theater does not matter, people come out in throngs every night to every theater space.

A brief summary of what I have seen so far, having been here just over a week:

The Pillowman - Martin McDonagh
MXAT Small Stage
Friday Night
First night in Moscow. The theater is about 70 degrees Fahrenheit, i.e. sleep inducing coupled with jet lag*. Visually interesting play, and it was translated into Russian by one of our professors! People were actually sitting on the side aisle steps during the show because there were not enough seats for everyone who wanted to see it. Still not sure how fire code works here....

*we found out during tech for our show that there is no way to adjust the thermostat in the theaters. It is on a grid that controls the entire district and can only be controlled for the whole area. Welcome to Russia...

Uncle Vanya - Anton Chekhov
Vakhtangov Theater
Sunday Night
Gorgeous and grotesque production of the father of Russian playwriting. Since this is a post about how packed the theaters are, let me elaborate. When Anatoly Smeliansky said they would fit us into the theater, he was not kidding: they add removable chairs to one side of the aisle, and have fold-down stools attached to the other side. The aisle is effectively a 6 inch bit of elbow room. Hopefully there is never an emergency of any kind...

Giselle
Libretto: Jules-Henri Vernoy de Saint-Georges and Théophile Gautier
Music: Adolphe Adam
Choreography: Jean Coralli and Jules Perrot
Stanislavski Ballet and Opera Theater
Monday Night
Large, two-tier theater, full on a Monday night. This was one of the times we could have benefitted from having a native Russian speaker with us. It became fairly evident that we did not have seats, and should just wait until right before the curtain went up to take whatever was open. Seeing as our Russian  language skills were not quite that advanced, the directions were a bit difficult. Eventually we chose seats. Shortly after Act I began, Alexandra got bumped from her seat. During intermission, the same woman bumped Leslie from her seat. The constantly looking for a better seat, and in this case, taking advantage of American students who could not retort in any effective way, was comical and frustrating.  The best part was when the same ladies followed us down to another row, which was worse because we had the lighting equipment to contend with for a view. This has been a very interesting and peculiar phenomena....

American Sojourns: Three Short Plays by Thornton Wilder
MXAT American Studio
Tuesday Night - Final Dress
Wednesday Night - OPENING!
The opening of our show that we brought from A.R.T.! We were not sure if we would be the only ones attending opening. The house was full of English language high school/college students. It made for an interesting audience - there was a lot of whispering as they seemed to be playing "telephone" down the rows so everyone could understand what was happening in the play. Looking forward to seeing how the audience and show evolve...

King Lear - William Shakespeare
Satirikon Theater
Thursday Night
Full disclosure: Was exhausted and somewhat dreading seeing a Shakespeare play, seeing as certain shows that could run in 2 hours (Pillowman) took the better part of 3.5 hours. The theater is gorgeous and modern, the guy at the coat check is an extremely cute version of Paul Dano, the ushers are helpful - although to take our added-into-the-aisle seats, they had to ask an old woman to move - so far so good. The girl behind me is sitting on the edge of her seat - literally - which means she is virtually on top of me; not my ideal scenario to have a stranger breathing down my neck. And then the show - King Lear is interesting, but not my favorite Shakespeare play, and the only other time I saw a staged version of it, in English, I fell asleep. What is it going to be like sitting through Shakespeare in Russian? Magical. It was quite possibly, if not the best, one of the best pieces of theater I have ever seen. More detailed review to come. Truly a remarkable piece of theatrical craftsmanship. EVERYBODY needs to come to Moscow and see this!

And thus concluded a full week of theater. Was not well enough to go to the theater last night with my classmates - sounds like I should see the show, but made the right decision in skipping it last night - and tonight is my first night this week without a scheduled performance to see. What am I going to do with myself? Cook dinner and read Crime and Punishment!

To Queu or Not to Queu

Evidently the, at least American or British, notion of the line or queu is lost upon our contemporaries in Moscow.

Ex. 1: Trying to buy moisturizer
It is baffling that it was harder to get through the "line" to buy my product, than to decipher in Russian what it was I wanted (which I did without a problem, thank-you-very-much). The mass of women at the checkout counter was more of a clump than a line, so I, being the American that I am, tried to find where the end was. Little did I know, but from recent experience should have suspected, that it was just a free-for-all mash of humanity. It was comforting that the Russian woman next to me got equally as frustrated with the situation. She gave up and left; I persevered, being cut "in line" by numerous older women before I elbowed my way through, and am now the very happy owner of almond scented, dry-skin moisturizing lotion.
*Note: Yes, it is this important to have moisturizer.

Ex. 2: The ladies' room at the Stanislavski and Nemerovich-Danchenko Ballet and Opera Theater
Enormous lines, as can be expected. The stalls can be reached from the right and left. The "correct" line formed to the left. I noticed the, much smaller you would have been yelled at in the US for starting another line, line to the right. Made like the Russian example I had been presented with and joined that one. Only three people ahead of me. I guess I am learning from the earlier experience of the day. Made it back to my seat with about 20 minutes of intermission to go...

When in Moscow...

...do as the Muscovites do.

1. Never smile
2. Always wear a fur coat or hat, especially if it resembles Cruella deVille
3. Have no concept of personal space
4. Be prepared to body-check someone at all times; this goes for everyone, including small old ladies at the coat check, they will do the same to you and with more force
5. Do not know how to drive a car - it's even better if you're on a phone and iPad, while trying to run over pedestrians in a cross walk
6. Do not know how to walk straight ahead or at a consistent pace, preferably move on an unpredictable diagonal
7. Show extreme PDA on the escalators in the Metro
8. Never try to be eco-savvy and not bag your produce - you will be stopped at the register and sent back to have your produce weighed and priced in that department - and you should know that, whether or not there is anyone at the scale
9. Don't try to wash AND dry your hands in a public restroom if there is a line; you'll be lucky enough to be allowed to the sink
10. When in doubt, wear stilettos

Moscow Misadventure #1

To backtrack and talk about the events that lead to landing in Moscow. Departure day - Need to start the experience out on the right foot. Clear security at JFK (though completely forgot to take my bag of liquids out of my carry-on bag), make it to the gate and realize that the zipper on my jeans is broken. Naturally this would happen to me. Luckily, my, rather large, carry-on suitcase was not taken from me and forcibly checked, as I now had a change of clothes.  Leggings and a dress are infinitely more comfortable, and thus I began my trip with less than I left the house with.

Of note: the situation was not helped by the two beers I had prior to leaving, which went straight to my head.